I walk alone down Baltimore Street The homeless commune staring at me They're dressed in rags and they are freezing I'm there cause the brick is aesthetically pleasing I shouldn't feel guilty, but I do What in the hell could someone like me do? I walk alone back to my car The sky is filled with snow and stars The white street lights all flicker softly The ride back home is mentally exhausting My cold wet socks dampen my shoes I wish I could compartmentalize like you do I see my dad on Christmas Eve The kids all wear button down shirts and dark blue jeans The tv's loud and the kids are crazy The kitchen is packed and the lights are hazy I walk alone to the corner store It's better than hyperventilating on the bathroom floor Alone on an iceberg in my childhood home The family is talking, I'm buried in my phone I'm texting Zyla, she's the only one That can calm down my brain - thought I was happy for once Was riding high on Mount Everest for months The moon is full, my head is empty, I'm done I walk alone to my next thing Whatever it is, it better sing The moon is full, my head is empty I'd fill it with love cause I got plenty but all I got, I still want more The moon slowly disappears over the shore

Fuck me And this lackluster last scene I swear, you called it I know you saw this coming from a mile away Envy Of your '99 MG I'm so pathetic Thought I was prophetic, the ignorance was heavenly "Talk about the things you see" But all I see is every roadblock I myself put before me "Just be the man you want to be" But I just want to be perceived as what everyone sees in me Good lord Were you that fucking bored You thought you'd call me To say you're sorry and ask if we could start again? No more That's quite enough blood and gore For one damn movie My name ain't Stan Lee, there ain't no after-credits scene "Talk about the things you see" But all I see is every roadblock I myself put before me "Just be the man you want to be" But I just want to be perceived as what everyone sees in me Tear me a new one I can't go unsupervised I can't tell a lie Unless it helps me to survive Tear a hole through space-time End every galactic crime Along with every blood-line The world explodes, we both feel fine Let me see your art The ones that really show your heart I wanna see your soul In the form of trees and cars Somewhere in there the truth lies But truth lies at the same time Color coat your own life Prettied up, polished, and monetized "Talk about the things you see" But all I see is every roadblock I myself put before me "Just be the man you want to be" But I just want to be perceived as what everyone sees in me

A good day is made up of inconsequential gains Tiny illusions that trick your brain But one by one they slip your mind And then everything you thought you'd find In some clarity has been declined By a single fucking text or lack there of Hell if I know if you can hear me now But I'm sorry for how things ended Millions of words spill right outta my mouth But not a single one was intended to come out I know I talk a big game But I can't say your name Without dramatic pause So many lyrics spill right outta my head The ones you liked were the ones that were lost A bad day is made up of one inconsequential loss In the workshop of your mind you're not the boss You let one fear destroy your drive Then next thing you know, you're twenty five Then oh shit, it's already July But you still say, "ah fuck it, man, I'll do it next week" Hell if I know if you can hear me now But I'm sorry for how things ended Millions of words spill right outta my mouth But not a single one was intended to come out I know I talk a big game But I can't say your name Without dramatic pause So many lyrics spill right outta my head The ones you liked were the ones that were lost I am devoid Of pain or hate or love I try to avoid Any resemblance of A soul or a mind My horse is in the race But my horse is blind And he always bucks me off to go stuff his face Hell if I know if you can hear me now But I'm sorry for how things ended Millions of words spill right outta my mouth But not a single one was intended to come out I know I talk a big game But I can't say your name Without dramatic pause So many lyrics spill right outta my head The ones you liked were the ones that were lost Hell if I care if you can hear me now Cause I'm happy with how this ended Millions of words spill right outta my mouth And every single one was intended to gouge out A chunk of what was left You broke my heart to reft A fleeting round of applause So many lyrics spill right outta my head The ones you liked were the ones that were lost

I wanna die a death that people see I don't wanna die in normalcy Nine to five, seven to three Is eating away at me Don't wanna live a life that's just for me A cottage and a family A patio and collared greens Rinse them down with gasoline The clock is running out on dreamers and clowns DJ Subatomic is staring me down Let me introduce myself: my name is Lonely Everyone I've ever loved was named If Only Thirty songs, thirty thousand words could never sum up what I have to say About my family, money, love or drugs, or Gilgamesh's futile journey to stay alive I wanna die a death that people see I don't wanna die in normalcy Nine to five, seven to three Is eating away at me Don't wanna live a life that's just for me A cottage and a family A patio and collared greens Rinse them down with gasoline A capo on the throat of your betrothed You harvested his organs like crops A lack of irrigation floods the steeple One by one like flies, we all drop The guards are closing in on you at the soiree You're running for your life through the crowd Sumerian Samaritans point their fingers Surrounded by spears, they got you now I wanna die a death that people see I don't wanna die in normalcy Nine to five, seven to three Is eating away at me I wanna irrigate my dreams with pipes Wanna decorate my petty plights Wanna decimate my own demise Everything will be alright

I'm alone now There's nothing more to say I don't need you To tell me "it'll be okay" Why don't you let me mourn in peace? Give me some space at least Maybe a week Or maybe a month Then you'll call me And say "hey man, how's it goin'? I love you You've got someone to talk to" I'm a poor man In sickness and in health And in virtues And in everything else, up to and including wealth Now I'm running up endless hills Looking for shoes to fill Maybe I will Or maybe I wont I am longing Longing for something harsh Unweildy For some semblance of healing I'm an orphan Of my own holocaust My endorphins Are running and running and running until they're lost I am not crooked, I'm a thief I am not Ganon or Link I'm not even Sheik I'm no one's hero I am ashes Burning down here on ground zero I Every night Am alright 'Til I see the Light Every night I'm alright 'Til I see the Light

I have precisely no idea what the hell I'm going through. My brain moves independent of my body. My heart moves independent of my brain. My skin crawls at the thought of comprehension. I'm terrified of hell, but I'm terrified of heaven. I sit alone on the futon in the spare room, imitating a statue strumming a guitar. I think back to the bridge and where it led me, wondering how I even made it this far. Judas at the alter preaching to the choir Indulging disciples, shunning those who falter Evidence creates a stunning show of faith That I have yet to obtain Rehashing ancient ideals from adolescence. Crying and whining in the boring rain. Excreting hormones left and right from lack of sensation. I'm up 'til four in the morning, sometimes five, rationalizing turmoil, burying thoughts in soil. I'm desperate for understanding. I'm demanding some sort of accomplishment from myself. I think it's high time I realize and accept that, hey, maybe I'm not doing so well. Judas at the alter preaching to the choir Indulging disciples, shunning those who falter Evidence creates a stunning show of faith That I have yet to obtain Judas at the alter preaching to the choir Indulging disciples, shunning those who falter Evidence creates a stunning show of faith That I have yet to obtain I'm downloading a sandbox RPG onto a device capable of mass destruction. Writing silly little indie songs on a machine capable of "Crazy Train." I'm sitting alone in a 12 by 12 room in a world capable of immense, everlasting pleasure. I have precisely no idea what the hell I'm going through.

I think I might sleep on the other side of the bed tonight It's still just as firm as the day it arrived If glasses showed the soul, I'd be dead in the eyes Another day of school, work, home, bed, writhe I have never been the type to compromise I have never been the rise and shine kind I've taken swimming lessons, like, 100 times But I still hold my nose on every dive I fell asleep in my shoes again I didn't brush my teeth again I tore through all my snacks in a single night So I'm getting big again I took acetaminophen I rubbed myself to sleep again And I laid down on the same side of the bed That I'm always laying in Some emotion shown in every song I wrote The rest behind the wall in the catacombs No Amontillado's worth my skin and bone And I can hear my heartbeat through the floor Or maybe I'll die drunk somewhere in Baltimore and when I'm gone, my songs will get a triple word score But no amount of art can replace amore A second side of the bed for me to adore I fell asleep in my shoes again I didn't brush my teeth again I tore through all my snacks in a single night So I'm getting big again I took acetaminophen I rubbed myself to sleep again And I laid down on the same side of the bed That I'm always laying in I don't know what to do This bed was made for two I don't know how or who ~~~~~~~ ~~ ~~~ ~~~~ I fell asleep in my shoes again I didn't brush my teeth again I tore through all my snacks in a single night So I'm getting big again I took acetaminophen I rubbed myself to sleep again And I laid down on the same side of the bed That I'm always laying in I fell asleep in my shoes again I didn't brush my teeth again I tore through all my booze and weed last night So I'm getting fucked up again I took acetaminophen I'm jerking off in my sleep again and I laid down on the same side of the bed that I'm always laying in

Walking through a cave by candle light Waiting for the other side to get bright Zombies walk the factory floor Searching for brains in the dim-lit corridor Someone's losing their mind tonight Spilling out my guts in the dead of night To zombies who have been here all their life They all talk of roads diverged The yellow wood that they once heard But they took the one most traveled by Heroes come and go Everyone you know Dies poor and alone Buried in the glow Buried in the glow Machinery is droning on and on The zombies march in catacosmic spawn We feed and feed broken mules They eat and eat, but they're never full We will never see eye for an eye Heroes come and go Everyone you know Dies poor and alone Buried in the glow Buried in the glow Heroes come and go Everyone you know Dies poor and alone Buried in the glow Buried in the glow Everyone you know Everyone you know Heroes come and go Heroes come and go Buried in the glow Buried in the glow

Emptiness fills me up Every day I tell myself the next won't hurt when I get up My eyes are covered in crud I'm staring off in outer space, I plant my dick into the mud I'm too scared to fall in love What if everything I thought I knew evolved and now I'm dumb? And I don't fuck 'til I'm in love This is not a choice I've made, it's cancer spreading through my gut I stay the same I stay the same In the same place And I'm lost I swear to God I want it all I want the money, fame and love, I want the blood, sex, booze and drugs I want to know I was enough I want to know I wasn't just a blip that fades and turns to dust I stay the same I stay the same In the same place And I'm lost I stay the same I stay the same In the same place And I'm lost I could be on Broadway I could touch the silver screen I could sell my soul and I could be the next James Dean I could be on billboards I could be in magazines I could fill my empty heart With things and live my life for me I will be off-Broadway I will crush the silver screen I will sell my soul and I will be Sinatra III I will burn down billboards I will tear up magazines I will fill my black hole heart With things and black hole empty screams I stay the same I stay the same In the same place And I'm lost I stay the same I stay the same In the same place And I'm lost I'm obsessed with death and dying No, I don't think it's cliché You may wonder what I'm trying So desperately to convey I don't care if I die sober I don't care if this is real I don't know what I am feeling I just know it hurts to feel Knowing that I have bad feelings That I can't even describe to me Is like a room of people screaming And I can hear them, but I can't see I know one day, hope's abandoned But I didn't think it would be so soon So where in the world does this leave me? My head of thoughts under the moon I see the stars I tear them apart You're an astronaut, I'm a black hole I feel the gloom I sing you a tune In my universe, I'm the heat death Come on, Jonathan, take a deep breath

How do the leaves move back and forth Through the trees and change color every year? Green to brown, green to brown, green to brown Why are my feet so drawn to the floor? No matter how many times I jump I go up and down, up and down, up and down Ooooooooooooooohh So many people loved and lost They go from stranger, to lover, to stranger They come and go, come and go, come and go If Jesus Christ is real And everywhere, then why do I feel So alone? So alone, so alone Ooooooooooooooohh Why is my head locked down to the earth And the moon floats up in the sky? If my head is full It's an empty moon Why is my head locked down to the earth And the moon floats up in the sky? If my head is full It's an empty moon